The Top Christian researcher states that 1/3 of all born again Christian get a divorce today. Those sociologists who are not Christians state that this number is even higher (42%). My beliefs are that America entered into a new phase culturally in the 50’s and 60’s which ushered in a type of spirit which I call "The Lesbian Spirit".
This spirit doesn't mean necessarily that a woman is having sexual relations with another woman but she possesses a spirit that is independent of the man that God created her to help meet The word Diva, Emperoress, and Goddess have all become synonymous with this new breed of American woman and indeed the modern independent woman of the world.
This article is written to the woman who wishes to understand her husband, his authority and the universal order God wrote of in His word. In Corinthians 11:13 It reads, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God”. This is not to say that any member of the household is less than or better than, and they are definitely to walk side by side, but in the final result the man is the vessel chosen to God to head the household.
The Top 5 Things a Man Needs in a Wife
#1 SEXUAL FULFILLMENT:
" The typical wife doesn't understand her husband's need for sex any more than the typical husband understands his wife's need for affection. This need in men is so strong that it must be satisfied -- in or out of the marriage. When a man binds himself in marriage, he makes the assumption that his wife will be available to him sexually. If that is not the case, it sets the stage for an affair -- which would be destructive to the marriage."
#2 RECREATIONAL COMPANIONSHIP:
The need to have fun with his partner is the second need identified for men. As already stated, we often put our best foot forward in the courtship and this is another area where there may be disappointment after the "I do". "Why don't you do this with me anymore?" is a common lament. Wives are caution that having fun together doing the things that you both like is essential to the marriage. "Men place surprising importance on having their wives as recreational companions."
#3 AN ATTRACTIVE SPOUSE:
"A man with a need for an attractive spouse feels good whenever he looks at his attractive wife. In fact, that is what emotional needs are all about. When one of his emotional needs is met he feels fulfilled, and when it's not met, he feels frustrated. It may sound immature or superficial, but I've found that most men have a need for an attractive wife. They do not appreciate a woman for her inner qualities alone. They appreciate the way she looks."
#4 DOMESTIC SUPPORT:
He needs peace and quiet. There may be a cultural change/demand that says that men need to take more responsibility in the home for domestic chores, but most men are not embracing this change. The male has a deep need for his wife to "take care of things" -- especially take care of him.
HE NEEDS HER TO BE PROUD OF HIM
Why do males have this need? Admiration energizes and motivates a man and he often expects his wife to be his most ardent fan. He needs to be appreciated for what he IS, not for what he COULD BECOME. While criticism causes men to become defensive, his wife's encouragement enables him to become more confident and enables him to achieve far more.
I equate this woman to the Proverb 31(Amplified Bible) prototype.
10 A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman–who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. 12 She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.
–> She is a woman of superior character. She exudes confidence, intelligence, faith and supreme competence in everything she does. Her beauty comes from within and it is more valuable than fine jewels. She is a faithful, trustworthy, and a genuine friend to her husband. Her support is important to her husband and she brings out the best in him and his moral character.
13 She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it]. 14 She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household’s food from a far [country]. 15 She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks.
–> She is diligent and does not begrudge her tasks as she works with “willing hands” to do all that she is assigned to do. She is creative and possesses ingenuity. She industrious, as she delegates to accomplish all that is at hand. She is a leader and she seeks the Lord early so that she can effectively plan her day.
16 She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. [S. of Sol. 8:12.]
–> She is a businesswoman and an investor. She is savvy with using, saving and investing money to benefit her family. She can hold her own in the boardroom if need be, but more importantly, she uses the skills and knowledge she possesses to position her family for success.
17 She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. 18 She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust].
–> She is spiritually, physically and emotionally healthy, which allows her to accomplish all that God has for her do. She takes satisfaction in all that God is able to do through her and the work that she does for her family.
19 She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit]. 21 She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet.
–> She is kind, caring, and considerate of others and shows empathy. She is a friend to those in need and gives of her time and treasure to help others. She takes time to serve her family and ensure that they have everything they need. She is insightful, hardworking and prepares for the unexpected in advance. And because of her diligence, there will be no lack in her household.
22 She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made].
–> She exudes grace and the pure, fine, purple linen represents royalty. She is an heiress of the King, the most High God, the Holy One. She walks in her royal heritage and loves God with all her heart.
23 Her husband is known in the [city's] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
–> She is respectful to her husband and encourages him to be the best he can be. She sees the treasures that God has placed in her husband and through her gentle words, kind heart, submissive spirit and unwavering support – her husband soars to higher heights. He receives blessings and finds favor as he confidently walks in his destiny, due in large part to his wife/help-meet having his back.
24 She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free one up for service].
–> She is passionate and persuasive as she pursues good for her family. She follows-through, gets things done, and makes good on her promises. She does what she says she will do.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]! 26 She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]. 27 She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.
–> She is confident in who she is, knowing that her position is secure. She doesn't have to be catty to others or gossip or back-bite or because she is secure in herself. She is not mean and does not have a sharp, harsh, sarcastic tongue, but rather her words are sweet and give life. She speaks wisdom and gives instruction to her children, while also offering God-centered advice for her friends and loved ones. She trusts God for her future and praises Him for what IS to come.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying], 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all.
–> Her character speaks for itself. It is evident to all around her that she is a virtuous and God-filled woman. Her children see God in her and her husband is blessed by her humility and servant’s heart.
30 Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised! 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city]!
–> She is blessed as she seeks after the things of God. Money, fame, clothes and cars will fade, but even as the earth and sky roll away, God will forever remember the heart of His daughter who sought Him and sought to serve others. She will find an eternal blessing for her love.
The Proverbs 31 woman is not the prototype of one perfect woman, but rather its a glimpse of a collection of women who carry Christ’s character. Either way, I think we can glean a lot from studying about this woman and understanding her heart, her mindset, her work ethic and her love for husband and family.